Month of Gratitude: Day 7 (My flashdrive!)

Those who know me know I’m technologically challenged.  I remember the day our Associate Pastor, Kristin Gerner Vaughn, showed me a flash drive.  Having just bought a new carrier for all those floppy drives I still had (and not wondering one bit about why its price had been drastically reduced :-), that tiny bit of plastic and metal seemed a miracle to me.  So much information on/in an object that fit on a key chain?  Wow.

It took a while, but I finally bought a flashdrive.  And loved using it.  All my sermons in one place!  All the scripts for all the worship services!  All the letters of recommendations I’ve written!  All the lyrics to all the songs I’ve written, sung, or want to sing!  Addresses for family and friends!  So many items on so tiny a gizmo!  Brilliant.  Just brilliant.

Until that one tiny gizmo got lost.

That’s what happened last June.  June 8, to be exact.  Aware that so many hours of my life were contained on that one flashdrive, my concern with its location had become an obsession….which is why it surprised me when it went missing.  I rarely left it out of my sight!  I had even bought a special tiny glass in which to store it in my desk at home.  How could it just disappear?

I looked for it—all over the house, in my book bag, in the car, in my office at church.  It.  Was.  Nowhere.  How helpless I felt!  What terror attended the recognition that so much work was simply gone. 

After about a month, I reminded myself of the Buddhist concept of detachment, and let the flashdrive go.  If it was gone, it was gone.  Yes, I’d lost a lot of work, but I’d just have to write new sermons, songs, and letters.  This might sound strange, but I actually grieved.

Then, yesterday—NOVEMBER 6!—I found it.  I found my flashdrive!  It was in the wooden container where I keep paperclips and pens on my desk at church.  I couldn’t believe it!  My flashdrive!  I have no idea how it ended up there.  (Allen said the bigger miracle is that I haven’t needed a paperclip for five months…)  Don’t care, really.  I have found my flashdrive!  Like the woman in Jesus’ parable who searches her house high and low for her lost coin, then is so happy when she finds it she throws a party, I nearly threw one yesterday.  My flashdrive has been found!

Today I am grateful to have my flashdrive safely stashed in its rightful place in my desk drawer.  (I’m also grateful for friends who have introduced me to Dropbox!)  What I’m most grateful for, though, is the reminder that, as happy as I was yesterday to find that which was lost, God feels that way every time I come home from my spiritual wanderings.  What a difference believing in God’s love for me has made in my life!

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!  That saved a soul like me!

I once was lost, but now I’m found; was blind, but now I see!

 

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Month of Gratitude: Day 6 (Pilgrimage UCC)

A couple of days ago, I expressed gratitude for my job.  I’m also grateful for the church I serve, Pilgrimage United Church of Christ in Marietta, GA.  Here’s a beautiful testimony of a new member, someone who thought being “spiritual but not religious” was enough.  I am so grateful to be part of a Christian community that—though not perfect—does live God’s welcoming love with integrity and grace.

 

After reading a very inspiring essay by Seth Adam Smith entitled, “Marriage Isn’t for You,” I substituted Seth’s words and expressions into a thought that God isn’t for me. See, I have not attended church regularly for 25 years. I did not think I needed church. I consider myself a “spiritual” person with a solid childhood of mandatory church attendance three times a week courtesy of my parents. I make donations to worthwhile charities. I try to live a gentle life and obey laws. To me, church was a social gathering of people who felt a need to belong and a have a sense of security. In addition, I don’t like labels and membership comes with labels.

All of this changed for me in April 2013. My husband and I hit a final wall in our quest to become parents, and the result was devastating. In my mind, my world had imploded. I was void of hope. I lost my purpose. My identity would forev…er be “childless.” No grandchildren would ever affectionately call me, “Nanny.” I gave up on life, as it had betrayed me.

After a week of existence in the bed, I realized a needed a life line, if I was going to survive. So, I prayed. I prayed again and again and again. With each prayer, I felt strength and a will to continue. I kept praying and God led me to a church I visited seven years prior. I listened carefully to the minister as she spoke. I listened to the words of the choir as they sang. I was greeted with warm handshakes and smiles. I kept visiting the church every Sunday, and I kept praying.

During my enlightened stage, I became aware of how much I changed. I was kinder to people and more patient. My soul felt compassion and tenderness. I had a deeper desire to help others in addition to writing a charitable check. I no longer censored myself on saying “God” in front of others or praying in public. I felt doing these things made God pleased with me. It was then I realized that God isn’t just for me. I am for God. I have a true desire to become the person God intended me to be. I wake every morning with a drive to be the kind, gentle, patient, loving, and forgiving person that God created. I live every day now with the goal of making God happy with me. I discovered living to please God brings more meaning and purpose to my life than chasing after my own desires and expectations.

Did I join the church? Yes, and it was definitely one of the best decisions for me. I am a proud, label-wearing member of my church. We pray, eat, laugh, and cry together. I am finding ways to be of value to my new church, and I believe this pleases God. So, I will admit that God isn’t for me. I am for God, and life is better than ever.

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The Spirituality of Weeping, by Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB

Sunday, at Pilgrimage, we talked some about the “sacrament of tears.”  I just ran across this piece by Sr. Joan Chittister on “the spirituality of weeping.”  It’s a great follow-up to Sunday’s conversation.

What matters to those who weep?

                     Tears fall despite the fact that we resist them so strongly. Unfortunately, few of us see our weeping as a spiritual gift or a matter of divine design. But we are wrong. Weeping is very holy and life giving. It sounds alarms for a society and wisens the soul of the individual. If we do not weep on the personal level, we shall never understand humanity around us. If we do not weep on the public level, we are less than human ourselves.

                     Tears attune us to ourselves and tears attune us to the rest of the human race as well. Once we ourselves have suffered, the suffering of others falls upon our softened hearts, and we become more human members of the human race. We learn that there are tears of joy as well as tears of sadness, and we allow ourselves to weep them. We come to realize that it is tears alone that stop us where we stand in life and demand that we assess it one more time, this time with the sort of reflection that sees more than anyone can see.

                     The spirituality of weeping stretches life to its outside edges and gives us a capacity for all its crannies, all its treasures. Those who live in holy anger know what it is to look at a wounded world and cry. Those who have cultivated humility and self-criticism know the pain of failing themselves and so can rise to even greater heights because their tears have made them whole. Those who live committed to honesty face the pain in life and do not flinch from it.

                     For those who develop the spirituality of weeping, life becomes a place of honest assessment and humble achievements, of keen love and desperate losses. Life matters to those who weep.                     

                                           – from For Everything a Season by Joan Chittister (Orbis)

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Month of Gratitude: Day 5 (My huband, Allen)

Today—and every day—I am deeply grateful for my husband, Allen Mullinax:  partner in love, partner in work, partner in life.  A character in Barbara Kingsolver’s book Poisonwood Bible describes her marriage as a balm.  That describes my life with Allen perfectly.  Our life together is a healing balm, a refuge, a joy.

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Month of Gratitude: Day 4 (Sabbath Rest)

“Today I am altogether without ambition.  Where did I get such wisdom?” 
 Mary Oliver, Blue Pastures

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Month of Gratitude: Day 3 (My job!)

I don’t even know where to begin.  I know so many people who are unemployed, or under-employed, or in jobs that put food on the table but fail to feed their spirits.  Talking with so many who are mis-matched in their employment, I know how rare it is to find work you truly love.

Count me lucky.

Today’s worship service—where we celebrated the installation of a stunning artistic representation of  baptism and remembered our loved ones who have died—reminded me of just how much I love my job.

This post by a Pilgrimage member on the Pilgrimage UCC FB page (Like us!) reminded me again.

I know I’m not a frequent FB poster. Much less about anything religious or controversial. But I had a really neat conversation with my kids today (Oct. 16) that I’d like to share, given that Friday was National Coming Out Day and tomorrow is Spirit Day.  It went something like this. . .

5-year-old DAUGHTER:  I want to move to Massachusetts so I can marry Christina and live there with her.  (Why she knows what states allow gay marriage is a conversation for another day.)

9-year-old SON:  You couldn’t do that in Georgia.

ME:  That’s right.

SON:  (Quite consternated.)  Why?

ME:  Because some people believe that women shouldn’t love women and men shouldn’t love men, and only men and women should get married.

SON:  You don’t think that.

ME:  No.

SON:  They can get married at OUR church.

ME:  That’s right.  Our church thinks people should be accepted for who they are.  Remember the tall woman with the deep voice (a transgender church member) you asked me about?  Some people think it’s wrong that she would like us to treat her as a woman and not let her be in their church.  Some people might even bully her.

SON:  That’s awful.

DAUGHTER:  We don’t bully people.  Not anyone.

SON:  (Smiling.)  I’m glad we go to our church.

Thank you, Pilgrimage UCC, for exposing my children to so much diversity and acceptance that they think LGBT folks and families are the norm.

*********************************

Thank you, Pilgrimage UCC, for allowing me to be part of such an amazing congregation!

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Sermon: Dedication of Baptismal Wall Art (November 3, 2013)

            Do you know the origin of stained glass windows in churches?  Before the creation of the printing press, few people could read.  Clergy could read the Bible, and they did, at every worship service–in Latin.  But that didn’t help people who couldn’t read or understand Latin.    

            So, someone got the idea to depict Bible stories in stained glass windows.  A picture paints a thousand words, right?  The advent of stained glass art in churches was a boon to worshipers.  No longer were they dependent on educated priests;  now, they could “read” Bible stories for themselves in the church’s windows.  The sanctuary itself had become a teaching tool. 

            Renovations to this space have turned it into a teaching tool, too.  First, there’s the space.  Before the renovation, the chairs used to face the cross.  Looking at the cross was lovely, but unless you were on the front row, it was hard to see much else besides the backs of the heads of the people sitting in front of you.  Now, you can see each other!  This new arrangement teaches us about the importance of community— in worship, fellowship, service, in life.

            About the cross.  If you read the plaque attached to the cross you learn that Colonel Chuck Johnson made it out of a tree that was cleared when this structure was built.  Recently, I learned that Chuck made the cross not only as a gift for the church, but also as a way to atone for things he’d done during the war.  The cross reminds us of Jesus’ death, of how the innocent suffer when evil pushes love to the margins.  It also reminds us that in the end, love wins.  And God forgives.

            We have stained glass windows now!  For those who weren’t here before the renovation, those windows used to be clear.  The building was designed so that, during the winter months, we could raise the blinds and benefit from passive solar heat.  A great design…except that we had to keep the windows covered during worship.  It made the room feel dark.

            Now, we have stained glass windows!  Those windows tell a story all their own.  The many colors in them speak of diversity.  The globe speaks of our connection to the larger world…and to the earth.  The ribbon across the globe that says, “Let There Be Peace on Earth” not only echoes our congregational song, it also represents our commitment to social justice, our desire to act all people into well-being.  The doves in the windows represent peace, as well.  The bits of clear glass represent God’s presence running through everything.

            One of my favorite parts of those stained glass windows is the way they bathe the room in colored light, especially this time of year.  And because the light is cast by the sun and because the sun and earth are in constant motion, the colors always are shifting.  It’s like the room itself is alive—alive with color, alive with light, alive with God.

            From the arrangement of chairs, we learn the importance of community.  From the cross we learn that love wins and that God forgives.  From the windows we learn the beauty of diversity, the call to social justice, and the importance of living in the light. 

            And now, we have this stunning sculpture.  It’ll take us a while to find all the meaning in this beautiful piece of art….which is art’s job:  true art continues drawing us in, inviting us to increasingly deeper levels of meaning.  I’m sure my own reflections on this depiction of baptism will result in many more sermons in the future.  For now, here are a few thoughts.

            The first thing to notice is that now the room embodies the full gamut of Jesus’ ministry: it goes from his baptism to his crucifixion and resurrection.  As followers of Jesus, when we come here to worship, to fellowship, to commemorate births, marriages, or deaths… whatever we do in this place, we do it literally within the context of Jesus’ ministry.  Cool, huh?

            Now for the sculpture itself.  As we drove home from seeing the almost-finished installation Friday night, Allen asked me what I found most striking about the piece.  I didn’t hesitate:  “The colors.”  The colors carry the artistic theme from the windows over to the wall… they also carry the theological theme of diversity.  Diversity is beautiful.  It’s important.  It’s vital to our mission.  This sculpture now invites us to reflect on what diversity means in the context of baptism.  Whatever color glass is behind it, the clear glass—symbolizing baptismal water—reveals that color.  It doesn’t suddenly become opaque with some colors and make others shine more boldly.  The baptismal water covers all colors equally and reveals them all.  Equally. 

            Baptism is the great equalizer.  In baptism, we are made one.  In baptism, we all are claimed by God.  In baptism, God tells each one of us:  “You are my child, my beloved.  With you I am well-pleased.”  As one wise person said, “We’re all God’s favorites.”  Indeed.

            The colors represent diversity—its beauty, its vibrancy.  What in this piece reveals the full depth of the colors?  Yes.  The light.  Each color is unique and beautiful…and we see the colors best when the light—representing God’s light—shines through them. 

            In the smaller circle, we see a dove.  Again, that dove carries the theme of peace and justice-seeking to the sacrament of baptism.  It also represents the Holy Spirit.  As we heard it read earlier:  “As he was coming up out of the water, Jesus saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like a dove on him.”  At baptism, God’s Spirit rushes into us and becomes a constant conversation partner, leading us, guiding us, reminding us always of God’s love. 

            Now, to the main sculpture.  Let’s get this out of the way.  Yes.  That person is emerging from a baptism by immersion.  And, no.  I’m not reverting back to my Baptist ways!  Here at Pilgrimage, we come from many denominational traditions.  Some of us were sprinkled as infants or children.  Who does that describe?  Some of us were baptized by immersion in a baptistry, river, or lake.  How many?  Some of us were baptized as adults.  How many?

            This depiction of baptism—though not the exact form of the ritual many of us experienced—does represent all our baptisms in at least two ways.  First, Jesus was baptized by immersion.  If we imagine the person emerging from the baptismal waters as Jesus, then, as Paul suggests, when we look at the sculpture, we can identify with Jesus in his baptism.

            The second thing this depiction represents—and I love this part—is the fact that the person emerging from the baptismal waters is also a big water drop and splash.  Essentially, this person is his or her baptism.  What does it mean to say that we are our baptism?  Being our baptism means living out of everything else we’ve talked about—knowing that we are loved by God; knowing that everyone else is loved by God; living in ways that make God’s love real in the world; remembering that when we are baptized, not only are we claimed by God, but we’re also claimed by a community….a poignant reminder that we don’t have to go it alone.  Not only is God with us, but this community of friends is with us, as well.

            The last things to consider are the water drops.  When we were here Friday night, Merridy and Mary told me they’d been debating about whether those pieces of glass were water droplets or teardrops.  The debate intrigued me…especially since this wall art also is a memorial, which means it’s being funded by tributes in memory of people who have died.  The invitation to contribute further in memory of other deceased loved ones will remain open.  We’ll soon receive more information from Council on how to make those contributions.

            Mary and Merridy’s debate got me thinking about the connection between baptism and death…there’s the whole thing of dying to one’s old self and being transformed to “walk in newness of life,” as Paul says.  So, there is that figurative death in baptism…

            But then I remembered a story about baptism and a literal death.  It speaks volumes about those pieces of glass Merridy and Mary were debating.

            Once, a student chaplain in a hospital was asked to lead a memorial service for a stillborn baby.  “Doug tried in vain to get a more experienced chaplain to officiate…because he felt he didn’t know what to do.

            “When he found [he’d] need to do the service himself, he quickly prepared some things to say.  However, when the nurse brought the stillborn baby into the chapel where he and the parents were, Doug found he couldn’t say [anything].  All [he] could do was stand there and cry.  Not knowing what to expect, Doug was not surprised when the nurse handed him the baby to hold.  ‘I want you to baptize my baby,’ the mother said.  ‘Her name is Nicole.’  Doug nodded, but he saw no water with which to baptize the baby.  Almost without thinking he took a tissue, wiped the tears from the eyes of the parents and his own eyes, and touched it to the baby’s head and whispered, ‘Nicole, I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.  Amen.”*

            Teardrops or water drops?  The answer is yes.  Both baptism and tears are sacramental– each reveals God.  Each speaks of life and death and life beyond death.  Each speaks of our connection to God and to each other.  Each reminds us of how much we are loved and how much we love others.  And each empowers us to share that love with every person we encounter.

            Teardrops or water drops?  Yes!  Death or life?  Yes!  Stunning work of art or reminder of God’s deep and abiding love for every one of us?  Yes, yes, yes!

 

In the name of our God, who creates us, redeems us, sustains us, and hopes for our wholeness.  Amen.

Kimberleigh Buchanan  © 2013

 

*Patton, John.  From Ministry to Theology:  Pastoral Action and Reflection.  Journal of Pastoral Care Publications, Inc., 1995, p.11.

 

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Month of Gratitude: Day 2 (Artists Who Help Us Experience God)

I was at the church last night getting my first glimpse at the new wall art that’s being installed in our sanctuary.  Stained glass artist Merridy Palmer and her partner Mary have created a magnificent, multi-colored depiction of baptism.  It is stunning

Last night as she worked, Mary told me that one day last week two young women—Mormons on mission—walked up to their workshop to share the good news.  Attached to the wall in the workshop was the artwork that now is installed on Pilgrimage’s church wall.  As the young woman stared gaped-mouthed at the sculpture, Mary explained the baptism symbolism, which the women understood completely.  Then Mary said, “Don’t you think I’m doing God’s work?”  Still slack-jawed in amazement, the young women nodded vigorously, then went on their way.

Having stood slack-jawed myself, staring in wonder at the wonder they created, I concur:  Merridy and Mary have done God’s work.  I can preach sermons about baptism and teach classes about baptism and do baptisms.  I might even write a poem or a story or a song about baptism.  But none of that will express the meaning and depth of baptism like the new artwork in our sanctuary.

Today, I offer profound thanks for the visual artists among us, those who help us see the things of God in new ways.

To see more of Merridy’s artwork, visit her website:  http://www.merridycorporateart.com/

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Month of Gratitude: Day 1

Today—All Saints Day—I’m grateful for saints like Jake.  I wonder how the world might change if more people took the time to encourage people they don’t even know.  (…or maybe even people they DO know…)  Check it out.

http://shine.yahoo.com/ellen-good-news/stranger-makes-single-moms-day-free-meal-234500227.html

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November 2013: A Month of Gratitude

When he’d just about hit rock bottom—his business was circling the drain and his marriage already was down it—John Kralik did something radical:  every day for a year, he wrote a thank you note to someone.  365 Thank Yous:  The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life is the book that chronicles that year.

The discipline of expressing gratitude was hard at first—really hard.  As the year wore on, though, after expressing thanks to people he loved, people with whom he was angry, people he didn’t even know, John was changed.  By the end of the year, expressing thanks was no longer an item on his To-Do list, but a habit.  Gratitude had become part of his makeup. 

I’m not at rock bottom—far from it!  But I do believe in the power of living out of a mindset of gratitude.  So, for the month of November, I’ll be blogging about things for which I’m thankful.  I’m going to try to post every day….but you all know I’m not the most consistent blogger in the world      :-/

Hey!  There’s the first thing I’m thankful for—the grace and patience of the two of you who are still reading this blog!  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!

See you tomorrow…(maybe)…

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